Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
