No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
