I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
