Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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