my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need to sanitize my soul.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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