chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
