I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
