I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just cut my nipple shaving
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
