It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have post one night stand depression
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