my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
