I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
