I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
