I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
