I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she looked like the before picture.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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