There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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