Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
