Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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