For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
