the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
