I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
