i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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