THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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