Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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