You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
