Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
