If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
