im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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