I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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