found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Vodka?
Forever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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