btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
