They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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