So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
