I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
