I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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