Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
