In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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