Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
