We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
