I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
