id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
