you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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