when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
