period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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