Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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