We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
