when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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