Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
