just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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