Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
