she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
