I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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